While we (the majority of the human race) were losing sleep over frivolities like "Why is the grass green?" and "What on earth am I going to do for my next lesson?", the greatest thinkers of all time were considering an altogether greater problem: Why, indeed, did that legendary chicken cross that fateful road?
Plato:
For the greater good.
Karl Marx:
An historical inevitability
Tomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Douglas Adams:
Forty-two.
Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Oliver North:
National security was at stake.
Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Salvador Dali:
The Fish.
Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus:
For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann Friedrich von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg:
Uncertain.
David Hume:
Out of custom and habit.
Saddam Hussein:
An unprovoked act of rebellion.
Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What road?
The Sphinx:
--
Sappho:
The hen on the other side was more fair than all of Hellas' fine armies.
Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately.
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for who among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
Bill Clinton:
No one has ever offered one shred of evidence that the chicken went anywhere near the road. Anyway, answering this question will not educate a single child or provide a single senior citizen with medical care.
Hillary Rodham Clinton:
Wait a minute! Chickens? That's domestic policy! You promised that to me, Bill!
Al Gore:
To get ... to the other ... side.
Barack Obama:
Because it could.
______________________________
Crawl On
The SNAIL
Plato:
For the greater good.
Karl Marx:
An historical inevitability
Tomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Douglas Adams:Forty-two.
Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Oliver North:
National security was at stake.
Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Salvador Dali:The Fish.
Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus:
For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann Friedrich von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg:
Uncertain.
David Hume:
Out of custom and habit.
Saddam Hussein:
An unprovoked act of rebellion.
Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What road?
The Sphinx:
--
Sappho:
The hen on the other side was more fair than all of Hellas' fine armies.
Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately.
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for who among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
Bill Clinton:
No one has ever offered one shred of evidence that the chicken went anywhere near the road. Anyway, answering this question will not educate a single child or provide a single senior citizen with medical care.
Hillary Rodham Clinton:
Wait a minute! Chickens? That's domestic policy! You promised that to me, Bill!
Al Gore:
To get ... to the other ... side.
Barack Obama:
Because it could.
______________________________
The SNAIL
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Hotch Potch English: The SNAIL ~ 'Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?'
Created & written by Sab Will
Copyright 2012 Sab Will / Hotch Potch English ~ The Unique English Language Website
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